Monday, September 13, 2010

Mackenzie Eva

I havent been ready to post about my sweet little Mackenzie for awhile. I have just been trying to get into a normal routine again. I feel like some days i could write and talk all day about her and then others i can barley get out of bed without crying about everything, but i really want to write this to keep as a journal for my and my family. So the story of our little Mackenzie is this. We went into the doctor on Monday August 23rd for a normal visit. I had told cody over the weekend that i hadnt really felt her move much and was a little worried he told me dont worry we will see the doctor on monday and things will be fine. When we went in the nurses couldnt find her heart beat so they had me go down to get an ultra sound with the doctor. When the doctor did the ultra sound we found out that our sweet little girl no longer had a heart beat. They didnt know why and said they may never know why but after having her they maybe able to tell us more. We were given the option of getting things started that day or going home and coming back in the morning. We chose to head home and figure things out and also to get things in progress for her funeral. We went in the next morning at about 8 and i had her that afternoon at 2:13pm. She weighed 2 pounds 1 ounce and was 14 in long. She is beautiful to me and cody and we could see so many features from our family. She had codys toes a cute little nose just like kennady and was long and skinny. We were able to spend the day with her, getting lots of pictures and foot prints and stuff like that. It was very comforting to be able to hold her and spend a little time here on earth with her. It has definetly been a rough few weeks but i feel like we are getting into a normal routine again and that mackenzie is part of that routine we go and visit her often and its nice to have a place to see her and a place that is so comforting to be. i know that our little mackenzie was not ment to be with us at this time. I know that she only needed a body and i feel like she must be so amazing and perfect that heavenly father could only be without her for 7 months and soon we will be able to be together again. I miss her everyday but i feel at peace. I know we are an eternal family and that i will get to raise her in the next life. We love you Mackenzie!